Today was a quiet and somber day. It started with me knocking my water bottle almost empty with whatever juice and Vitamin D3 left. It was early and dark out of course. Upon returning to my empty bed, I thought about the wonders around me and how to interpret them for here. How should it continue, my thoughts of last....
Swallowing all the whirlwind around me made me freeze. This was all a result of the MRI and needle biopsies I endured gracefully and alone. You should have seen that uncomfortable MRI experience. I had to reschedule it because of my claustrophobia. Thank goodness there was an opening the following evening. A dose of Vicodin was awaiting me upon my return home. It was not the conventional position that one assumes. How does one begin to describe biopsies? Hmmm....my breast surgeon said it was going to be the worst part of it all. Partly correct, partly out of heart professional mind! I do not want to get graphic here so I will leave to your imagination. All the medication, poking, prodding, physician appointments, surgeries, advice, tears, sweat and sleepless thoughts were all holding me tight and ready for our journey ahead. It began with that first surgical date. My oncologist said a date for chemotherapy. My breast surgeon set a date for my chemo port placement. What a duel they were!
Mamma here to save the day! Of course my poor pathetic and sad lonely self had to endure all this, NOT! Island culture is very close knit and here she was, on the next plane to take care of her late bloomer of a hag daughter. Sacrificing father and husband home with her youngest daughter for a year. Who does that? My wonderful and sweet mamma....thank you mom!
Next step, early morning appointment at the radiology of course. Meeting with the CT Scan. Starting off with that gross stale water of iodine I had to drink. All cold stale liter of it. It was about finding exactly where and how big my tumor and unexpected second tumor was. I heard too much of how lucky I was that I had one huge tumor (the size of a golf ball) versus the pea size shot gun pieces that statistically occur. Unfortunately, I had two. It wasn't what I wanted, but who choices cancer at all. What the heck did this mean now?
It meant the worst was yet to come. The psychological pains of breast cancer let alone my journey is an illness I do not wish upon my worst enemy. Upon no one. My family for the next four years where in for a horrible ride.
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